You want a house?
You want a flat?
Do you want a mortgage?
Everyone should have a mortgage.
Do you want to 'get on the first rung of the housing ladder'?
Of course we do.
Do you want to be part of the property-owning democracy?
Of course we do.
Are we happy that this is what the Tories are doing for us?
Of course we are.
But at the same time
under Toryism there are many more people on zero-hour contracts
many more people on temporary contracts
many more people are low earning self-employed.
None of these people can get a mortgage.
Hurrah for that, we all say, that will ensure
that they don't become people who will default
they won't have 'sub-prime mortgages,
they won't 'trigger a crash'.
So what is this 'property owning democracy' then?
Ah it's the kind of democracy that is only available
to those with permanent contracts
and high enough salaries.
In the meantime, people have to live somewhere,
somewhere where they spend a huge chunk of what they earn,
such a large chunk that they can't save for a deposit
even if they ever did manage to turn their zero hour contract
or their temporary contract into a permanent one
or if ever the fees in the self-employed work
ever got big enough...
So, thank you Cameron for telling us on the Today Programme
of your thrill
that day you walked through the door of your first flat
knowing that it was yours.
Everyone on zero hour contracts
temporary contracts
and low earning self-employed rates
cheered when you said that.
Hurrah...hurrah...hurrah.
