Hurrah for mortgages, say the zero-hour contract workers.
You want a house?
You want a mortgage?
You want to get on the first rung of the housing ladder?
You want to be part of the property-owning democracy?
Are you happy that this is what the government is doing for you?
Yes - hurrah for mortgages, say the zero-hour contract workers,
and thanks to you,
there are now many more of us
on zero-hour contracts.
Jolly good, they say back to the zero-hour contract workers,
thanks to you not having a mortgage
you won't be "sub-prime"
you won't trigger a crash
Hurrah for mortgages anyway, say the zero-hour contract workers
we love our property-owning democracy
even though we're not property-owning.
We love spending most of what we earn
so we can't save to buy our way into
the property-owning democracy
And thank you, David Cameron
for telling us on the Today Programme
of your "thrill"
that day you walked through the door
of your first flat
knowing that it was yours.
Everyone on zero-hour contracts
when you said that…
Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah.