A Whale Got On My Bus
I was on a bus
and a whale got on.
The recorded announcement said:
‘Please move down the bus
so that there is room for passengers
getting on the bus.
Please move down the bus
so that there is room for passengers
getting on the bus.’
We moved down the bus
and the whale squeezed in
and the doors closed.
I was next to the whale,
it said,
‘Sorry, I’m dripping.’
‘No worries,’ I said,
‘same thing happens to me
when I’m wearing my waterproof coat.’
‘What this much?’ said the whale.
I didn’t want to make the whale feel bad
so I said,
‘Well, yes actually.’
‘Do people complain?’ the whale said.
And I lied,
I said,
‘Yes,’ when in actual fact no one
had ever complained.
‘I can’t see all the way round the back of me,’
the whale said, ‘could you look to see
if I’m dripping over everyone back there?’
‘Sure,’ I said and I looked.
People were getting showered.
‘There’s a bit of dripping going on,’ I said.
‘I knew it,’ said the whale.
‘Do you have a towel on you?’
‘No,’ I said, ‘I don’t usually carry a towel around.’
‘Well,’ said the whale, ‘isn’t that typical!’
‘Is it?’ I said.
‘You get on a bus, you’re dripping wet
you ask for a bit of help, a bit of sympathy
and all you get is nastiness.
What is it with people, these days?’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, ‘I just don’t have a towel.’
And then it all went quiet.
It was all a bit tense.
Awkward.
All you could hear was a
dripping sound.
Drip, drip, drip,drip...
