New poem: Chair

I needed a chair. At the shop the man said that

there was a new Smart Chair.’

He said, ‘It anticipates chair use.’

I said, ‘So, is it like there’s an agreement between

me and the chair? I do what it anticipates I’ll do.’

He said, ‘I think it’s more of a prognosis.’

I said, ‘I’m afraid I’ve never known what the

difference is between a prognosis and a

diagnosis.’

He said, ‘I have that problem too.’

I said, ‘What about the chair?’

He said, ‘I don’t think the chair has a problem.’

‘That’s good,’ I said.

He said, ‘Would you like to use the chair sir?’

I said, ‘I would love to use the chair.’

I sat on it.

‘It’s very good,’ I said.

‘How would you describe the sitting experience,

sir?’

I said, ‘It’s...like...sitting. First I sat down and now

I’m sitting on.’

He made a note.

He said, ‘Would you like a cup of tea or coffee?’

‘No thanks,’ I said, ‘it’s a chair I’m after today.’

‘I know,’ he said.

‘And so does the chair, I expect,’ I said.

‘No, I don’t think so,’ he said, ‘the chair doesn’t

know that you want to buy a chair.’