Is there a peer in the house?
is there a Labour peer in the house?
Is there a Labour peer who voted for the war
in the house?
We need a Labour peer who voted for the war
to appear on TV now.
We need a Labour Peer who voted for the war
to talk about a disaster and a catastrophe
We don’t need a Labour peer who voted for the war
to talk about why the war was a disaster and a
catastrophe
We need a Labour peer who voted for the war
to talk about the disaster and catastrophe
that is Jeremy Corbyn
And here they come
running and skipping
up to the TV studios
delighted to talk about the disaster and catastrophe
that is Jeremy Corbyn
delighted to not talk about the disaster and catastrophe
that was the war,
and we at home watch TV
delighted to hear them
because they are peers of the realm
we sit on our sofas doffing our hats
and thanking these Lords and Ladies
Barons and Baronesses
grateful to them for warning us off
Jeremy Corbyn
who it can be said, just quietly, no fuss:
did not vote for the war
and who says that the war
was a disaster and a catastrophe.
Amazingly, this was all foreseen by William Shakespeare.
I want to announce tonight an incredible discovery:
a piece of writing that is definitely by Shakespeare
from one of the history plays.
It’s only a short passage.
and it ends rather abruptly.
but I couldn’t resist bringing it to you.
I’ve copied it out word for word.
The speaker seems to be someone with the name
Campbell:
Campbell speaks:
My lords, welcome to this goodly tavern
here in hiding can we make plans tonight
you mandelson, jowell, kinnock and reid
remember though our hands be drenched in blood
from wars too foul to mention now or ever
we can rely on papers bearing news
to gloss o’er what crimes we have commit
instead will they invite us - or Jack Straw
to give wise counsel on matters more grave:
how what’s noble is betrayed by Corbyn
he, like the worm who doth dig deep inside
the holy sepulchre that is our party
bringing withal a multitude, a mob
a swinish troop of people, old and young
who dare to say our place in history
is sullied by that war we do not mention.
We, great lords, who speak for the nation
yea though of late, undermined cruelly
by this foolish soft-cheeked smooth-tongued Chilcot
and tonight, my lords, forsooth must we swear
an oath to remove yon upstart Corbyn,
yea, by any means - be they fair or foul.
Were ye not set up above the people
as Lords and Barons and Baronesses
to tell the people what is best for them
and place at the helm a golden Eagle...???
...and here the manuscript is torn.....
Remarkable document....