Reluctant ex-Labour Minister finally agrees to come on and make a comment about Jeremy Corbyn for the 327th time

"I am very unwilling to comment on Jeremy Corbyn
very unwilling indeed
and everyone knows that my loyalty to the Party
is unmatched
my record in government stands for itself
and as I say
I am very, very unwilling to comment on Jeremy Corbyn
but seeing as you ask me
and seeing as you've twisted my arm
to get me on to the radio
and the tv
and reluctant though I am
Yes I can't say how reluctant I am
in fact
I'd have to say that if anyone ever votes for
Jeremy Corbyn
we are heading for something like a nuclear winter:
decades in the dark
decades in the wilderness
decades of disaster
(take your pick which of those 'decades'
you'd like to quote me on)
But as I say
I'm very, very reluctant to make any comment
and very, very reluctant to come on air like this..."