Meryl Streep at the Dentist

At the dentists today he sang Randy Newman’s

‘Short People’, he did the German tonguetwister:

‘Brautkleid bleibt Brautkleid und

Blaukraut bleibt Blaukraut’

told me that he was friends with Meryl Streep’s

double - who was Maltese and who was in

some kind of trick that the Daily Mail

played on the Sunday Times where

the Sunday Times thought they were

interviewing Meryl Streep but they weren’t

and just the other day he met Cat Stevens’s

brother in a cafe who was with the bloke

who played Romeo in the Zeffirelli film.

I said that I had had a dream about Meryl

Streep when I said to her that she was really

good in that film where she was in a raft going

over the rapids with Sam Neill and she said

thanks. He told me not to chew on the crown

for 24 hours because the glue is in the second

phase.