Tuesday, 3 September 2019

Sensational leak: the Dear Boris letters - in full



Dear Dominic

Slightly snaggy: seems the swines have spotted that you don't have a membo card. I know a guy in Belgravia who's got an engraving biz who could knock you up something dated 1996. Needs must. Eat this note.

Magnus avocado in solipsis

Boris




Dear Boris

Your pathetic party is full of snivelling worms. I heard Hammond on the BBC (Marxist-Leninist). He should be sectioned or beheaded. Do it. There's too much dead wood in the ranks. Lop it off. Remember what I said: eat or be eaten.

Dominic




Dear Dave

Are you in the country or on hols? Was remembering a chat I had with old Boffo who told me that while you were in college you had a tendency to leave a silent sentinel in the bogs for Matron to flush. Was minded it of it this week.

Solo excrementum in perpetua

Boris




Dear Boris

David is not doing letters, emails or phone calls at the moment. He's got a frightfully huge autumn coming up doing promos for his autobiog. and is taking a break-ette before the storm. We're all well. Who are you married to now?

Samantha




Dear Boris

I am aware that you are avoiding engagement with the likes of the Channel 4 News Asian gentleman, you should, nevertheless, point out the advantages of leaving. I, for one, always mention the forthcoming cheapness of footwear.

Damocles Roma ludo

Jacob R-M




Dear Boris

Did you catch me on telly? Hope so. I kept to Dominic's script word for word so I hope you were pleased with it. I'm also doing my best with the face thing: keeping it cheery. Hope you spotted that. I didn't leak the wotsit when I was doing Defence. Really.

Best

Gavin




Dear Williamson

Don't snivel. I had a fag at Eton whose job was to tie my shoelaces and if I so much as reminded him that I like double-bows, would burst into a stream of apologetic mutterings. Awful creep. Remember, it's strength through joy.

In domine non cluedo

Boris




Cher Monsieur Barnier

Je suis dans le merde. Je desire que vous prétendez en public que nous avons beaucoup de plans et discussions. Dans le future il est possible que je aide vous en business (wink wink, as we say en Anglais).

Anglia magna Anglia prima,

Boris




Dear Mr Johnson

Thank you for your kind letter. I will decline your offer of some financial advantage in the event of my deceiving the British public that useful discussions are taking place. I wish you and your colleagues a pleasant day in your Parliament.

Best

Barnier.




Dear Boris

I don't want to sound in any way like some kind of superior head girl but from where I'm sitting (watching the tennis, actually), it rather does look as if you've lost your majority. Careless, or what? Whoops.

Best wishes

Theresa




Dear Theresa

Last time I was ticked off like that was when Matron found me smoking banana skins behind the Music block. I can tell you for nothing that I've brought turbocharged grit and steel to this whole Brexit matter, not your dog's brexit.

In domine dominic

Boris




Dear Boris

Stuff the traitor who's buggered off. I warned you before that your shitty party is stuffed full of inferior genetic material. Eva Peron didn't need crap like that.



Cummings

Monday, 2 September 2019

Reading for Pleasure - 6 free online resources



(This is a re-post so that people can find it easily.)


1.

http://michaelrosenblog.blogspot.com/2017/05/poetry-in-primary-schools-5.html

This is a 'matrix' of questions to help children talk about aspects of a book, a passage, a poem or any text.




2.

https://researchrichpedagogies.org/research/reading-for-pleasure


This is the Open University's wonderful site to encourage and set up reading for pleasure practices in schools.




3. 

https://www.teachers.org.uk/sites/default/files2014/reading-4-pleasure-10561.pdf


This is the National Union of Teachers' excellent booklet on reading for pleasure.




4.

https://michaelrosenblog.blogspot.com/2018/12/what-does-it-mean-to-read-and.html


This is my matrix for understanding our thinking processes as we read.




5.

https://www.pearson.com/uk/educators/primary-educators/subjects/primary-english/tips-from-michael-rosen.html


These are my twenty tips to help reading for pleasure in schools. 



6. https://ieconsultancy.co.uk/2019/01/06/things-to-say-to-children-to-encourage-a-love-of-reading/

This is Ian Eagleton's site where he has 25 really great questions to ask pupils in order to encourage a love of reading - amongst other things on a superb site. 


[apologies these links aren't live; you can of course copy them and paste them into your browser]