Thursday, 24 March 2016

Academies, Nick Gibb, Nicky Morgan, George Osborne, exclamation marks,

Ruth Moleskin has advised George Osborne to employ her to advise schools on their academy conversions using Moleskin Convert Packs.

At Trident Academy we have tasked the students with how best to use nuclear warheads.

Given Adele's popularity with young children, she's been asked by Nick Gibb to change her name to A Dell.

At the Moleskin Business Academy, we've dropped the words 'pupil' and 'student'. They're 'employees' working to sell the academy product.
As a model for forcing academy conversion, George Osborne is looking at the Dissolution of the Monasteries.

Nick Gibb asked me to improve my writing with embedded relative clauses:'We're going on the bear hunt that is fun,we're going to catch...'

Academies to have compulsory expanded noun phrases in their names eg The Excellent, Well-built,Gove-inspired, Happy Moleskin Academy
In this year's SPaG test there's a question:is 'academy' in 'academy conversion' an adjective, part of a compound, or daylight robbery?

Ruth Moleskin has advised Nick Gibb to change his name to Nick Gib to be more phonically regular.

A school that tries to refuse to be converted into an academy will be arrested.
Nick Gibb says as the word 'academy' is not consonant,vowel,consonant, academies should call themselves 'Cads'. 

Ruth Moleskin to start up a new academy chain and advise govt which schools her chain will take over.

Nick Gibb says that nursery school nativity plays should only use phonically regular words. Joseph = Jed. Mary = Meg.

Osborne has told Nicky Morgan to do a report on forced academy conversion of police dog training centres.

Nick Gibb says that fronted adverbial awareness should be taught in maternity awards to newborns.

Haribo sweets considering becoming an academy chain sponsor. Good for sales.

Nicky Morgan seen walking round parliament buildings cursing Osborne for dumping the forced academy conversions on her desk with no warning.

DfE says errors in their mailouts about errors caused by Labour.

Nicky Morgan says academy chains will take over underperforming exclamation marks.