Today's Reading Comprehension Test - important press release

"For our Reading comprehension test today, we at Top Standards in Examining Everyone All the Time, have ensured that only really feeble, dull, poorly written passages were put in front of children, ideally on subjects that interest very, very, very few children. We tried to ask them the kinds of questions that they themselves would never ask, and tried to narrow these down to ones that only have right and wrong answers. This removed any possibility that the children got the impression that writing and reading are about interesting nuances of meaning, some of which change and shift in a book. We were also on the look out for passages where children of a particular kind of background brought their knowledge to bear on the passage so that really we were testing their parents' level of education, not the children's. Ultimately, we hope that these tests will ensure that a school which is not an academy becomes one. Good night. "