Tuesday 24 January 2012

Poor people are too rich

"Good evening. Since my last talk, people have been saying to me, 'What's going on? What's happening?' So, tonight I'm going to roll up my sleeves and explain some things.

We're in trouble at the moment. Every single one of us. But why? It's simple. Poor people are too rich. Many of them work in places like hospitals and schools. This has brought the world economy to its knees.

Rich people have told us they need more money so what we're doing is rolling up our sleeves and taking money from the poor people and giving it to the rich people. Then the rich people will roll up their sleeves and save the world economy.

Of course there is a tiny minority of rich people who do bad things. And we take this very seriously indeed. We say to them, 'Naughty!'  And I'm pleased to say that even the Labour Party - who brought the world economy to its knees - are saying much the same thing. We all say, 'Naughty!' So no one accuse us of not taking this matter very seriously indeed.

Tomorrow, I'm going to explain how we're working very closely with hedge fund managers, currency traders and tax avoidance companies to save the world economy.

Good night."