Thursday 6 October 2016

Security alert: Before you read this...

Before you read this
I have to ask you some questions:

Could you tell me if you are any of the following:
migrant, immigrant, refugee, asylum seeker, emigre, clandestine, sans papiers, foreigner,
or a son or daughter of any of the

or if you LOOK like as if you could be any of the 
In which case please
state your name, date of birth,
height, weight, inside leg measurement, blood group, hospital records, skin colour, income, 

preferred sandwich type.

Are you are in receipt of any loans or any imported meat products?

Do you intend to stay in this country longer than two minutes?
Do you intend to study anything that is not maths? Do you have a wife, husband or both?
Please sing the national anthem when I say the word 'Queen'
And answer the following questions:
why is Britain great?
why everywhere else is not so great?
what is the Anglo Saxon word for great?
do you wear red, white and blue underwear?
Please step this way
To see if you have answered all these questions truthfully,

we need to do a rectal examination.