Wednesday 23 October 2019

Alice in Wonderland at Number 10 - the Sauce


In fact, Alice changed her mind, and before leaving found herself alone in the room with the ever-furious Mr Comings-and-Goings. Her eyes drifted towards the table where she was surprised to see a large bottle full of some kind of liquid.

Oh, she thought to herself, I wonder if this is anything like that peculiar drink I had before. She looked to see if this bottle also had a label on it saying, 'Drink me' . Yes it did, but this time the bottle bore another label, saying: 'Anonymous Sauce'.

That's funny, she thought, the sauce bottles at home say 'Stokenchurch and Wilmslow Olde Englishe Sauce', but this one just says 'Anonymous'.

She reached out for the bottle, but Mr Comings-and-Goings spotted what she was doing and said with a rather alarming tone of voice, 'That's for the scribes, not you.'

'Can I try some,' said Alice, 'after all, it does say, "Drink me" on it?'

'O very well,' said Mr Comings-and-Goings, 'I firmly believe people should do what they want.'

'Do you?' said Alice.

'No,' said Mr Comings-and-Goings.

Alice reached forward again, took the bottle into her hand, opened it and sipped a tiny amount. It had a strange, tangy taste but even as she had that thought, something stranger started to happen: she heard herself say things that she didn't think.

''s been revealed that Mr Dominic Grievous Bodily Harm, who had been at the Party, eats children...'

'Why did I say that?' Alice said interrupting herself.

'I did tell you that it was meant for the scribes,' Mr Comings-and-Goings said with a knowing smile.

She wondered who these scribes were and asked him so in her usual direct way.

'Here!' he said crossly and pressed a button on a box at his side. A voice came out of it speaking in clipped but confident tones.

''s been revealed that Mr Dominic Grievous Bodily Harm, who had been at the Party, eats children...' the voice said.

Alice could hardly believe her ears. Wasn't this what she had just said? She glanced back towards Mr Comings-and-Goings.

He was still smiling but was now looking with great fondness at the Anonymous Sauce.

'It's like playing a musical instrument,' he said more to himself than to Alice, 'we feed them the Sauce, they say the words...'

"Well, I shall tell them,' said Alice, 'I will warn them that they are saying things that they don't think. And it's just you and whoever cooked this Sauce who are doing this.'

'And who, in the whole wide world will believe you or will care?' said Mr Comings-and-Goings, 'you really are a foolish little girl.'

I'm not, thought Alice, I really am not, and resolved to find these scribes and tell them what was going on.