Perhaps...
...during Lockdown
some Number 10 partygoers
stumble out of the door
and throw drunken gags at each other
and one says,
‘Hey, for a laugh, let’s go find one of
these hospitals
where people are dying
and cheer’em up…’
and they stumble into cabs
and get to where Dick Whittington
heard the bells of London
where the Whittington Hospital looks out over London
and they manage to get the works lifts to work
they jam in
ride to the 5th floor
to the intensive care ward
where visitors are strictly forbidden
and they crash into the ward
cheering and laughing
‘No need to bring your own booze
we’ve brought it.’
And they see us there
inert, plugged into tubes and lines
staring blindly
trying to live
and they say to us
‘Hah! you think you’re in a bad way?
What about us?
We’re smashed.
It’ll be hell in the morning
but what the fuck!
You’re no bloody fun, are you?
Let’s go, guys..’
And out they stream
out of the hospital
into the night street
and one of them finds
Dick Whittington’s cat
in stone
a statue of a cat
on the pavement
and it becomes the funniest thing
that any of them have ever seen
It’s a cat
it’s a fucking cat
It’s a statue of a fucking cat
and they have this great idea:
‘Let’s piss on it,’ one of them says
And that’s even funnier.
