Monday 12 January 2015

Monday morning in Bletchley-like Intelligence bunker...

Monday morning in Bletchley-like Intelligence bunker. Around a large table sits a group of Oxford educated men in their forties and fifties. A senior-looking figure speaks:

'Morning chaps, first off, I think yesterday was a great success. There were some excellent photo ops and we were looking good. But must move on. Let's do some blue sky envelope pushing and ask the biggie: Why do these men take up arms and shoot people? Straight off, can we rule out stuff that we can't do anything about - so if you come back at me and say some rot about 'wars' - I'll say to you, 'not our department'. If you say, 'oh these young men have very little chance to do anything worthwhile or make their lives feel better unless they can win the lottery, sell drugs, take drugs or rob a bank, I'll say to you, 'not our department'.

So moving on, what have we got? Islam - good. Anything else? Freedom. Yes, good. They don't like freedom. Very good. Islam and freedom-no-likey. We're building the picture. Ah - yes, Jolyon, interesting point about our chaps supporting this or that side out there in the desert. Do you follow horses, Jolyon? You see it's no use telling a betting man to stay away from the races, is it? That's what we do. We go in there and back winners and losers. One day your horse comes in, next time he runs he flops. That's what it's like out there. But either way, it's nothing to do with what we're talking about here. Even if it was, there's nothing we can do about it. It's another department. And just because some of the loot finds its way into these jonnies' hands is neither here nor there….

So, look, we've got to pull some threads together here - we've got to defend freedom - check. We've got to watch out for Islam - check. We've got to support Number 10 in what they do. OK, off you go and, mind the step on the way out. "