Wednesday 7 March 2012

Bonjour. Foreigners are the problem.

Hello all French citizens living in Britain.

As spokesman for the French government, I would like to make plain that it is clear there are too many foreigners everywhere. Everywhere I look there are foreign people. I've got nothing against foreign people. I'm a foreigner myself. And come to think of it you're foreign. But when I say foreigner I mean foreigner. Not foreigner. This is the problem. You see some foreigners are really foreign. And some are less foreign. Particularly foreign are the ones that are very foreign. I'm foreign but less foreign so I'm OK. Then there are foreigners who we don't mind. Like you. Such foreigners are nice. Then there are the foreigners we do mind. We know who they are, don't we? Other people who know who they are are people who are members of the fascist party. We don't mind the fascist party very much, do we? They are OK, especially if what I'm saying now means that some of the people who vote for them will vote for my party. I thought that when that grand old man of the fascist party said that the Nazi occupation wasn't all that bad, he said something very interesting. And not too bad. What a jolly old chap he is. And one good thing about him and his daughter is that they aren't foreign. Now here's a funny thing. People say I'm racist. How can I be racist? I'm foreign.

I hope all that's clear.

Vive le Président