I opened up a packet of bread the other day,
took out a slice and as I put the butter on I
noticed that there was a hair in the bread. Not
on the slice. It was in the bread. It wasn’t
very long. I didn’t fancy eating it, so I put the
slice back in the packet and put the packet
in the bin. In the morning, I was looking around
for something to eat for breakfast, and I didn’t
have anything in, so I thought, ah, maybe I
could fish that loaf out of the bin, pull the
slice with the hair in it out of the packet and
maybe eat one of the other slices. So I got
it out the bin, opened up the packet and the slice
that had the hair in was on the top. Now
it had several hairs. I looked closely at it and
I could see that the hair was growing out of the
bread. This wasn’t mould. I know what that hairy
mould looks like. This was hair. It was a browny
colour with little blonde touches. I put it back in
the bin and went off to work. When I came back
from work, I got the packet out again and
sure enough, it had grown more hair. Now there
was enough hair to make it look like it was the top
of someone’s head. All growing out of one slice.
It even had a parting. Then, without knowing
why, I picked up this slice with the hair on it
and started to eat it. I was right about the hair.
It was hair. The bread had changed though. It
didn’t really taste like bread. More like something
made out of walnut. I ate it and pulled the hair out
of my mouth. It wasn’t really hairy. More furry than
hairy.
