New poem: Parrot

We were at the zoo when I heard a parrot

say, ‘I could have been Prime Minister.’ I

told the others to carry on to the Reptile

Room and I went up to the parrot and said,

‘When was this?’

The parrot said, ‘1957.’

‘Which party?’

‘I can’t say,’ it said.

‘Did you have a lot of support?’ I said.

‘Oh yes.’

‘So it didn’t turn out good for you?’

‘Not sure I had the charisma,’ it said.

‘Really? You seem very lively.’

‘That’s very kind but it’s not what people

said at the time,’ it said.

‘How about policies?’ I said, ‘did people

think you had good policies?’

‘Oh, yes.’

‘Can you tell me any of them?’

I said.

‘I’m really sorry, no I can’t.’

‘Shame,’ I said, ‘I would have liked that.’

‘Ah, well, you’ll have to just take it

from me that they sounded really good at

the time.’

‘Yes,’ I said, ‘shame all the same.’

‘Well,’ it said, sounding a bit irritated, ‘you

can’t expect me to remember everything.

Some of us can only remember, “Who’s

a pretty boy?”’

‘And there’s one I knew who used to say

“Shut your face”,’ I said.

‘I don’t know that one,’ it said.