Thursday 15 March 2012

Little George plans the budget in bed

Every night little George lay awake in bed trying to figure out ways in which he could make himself and his best friend David and all his other friends much, much richer. His first idea was to make sure that poor people had less money. He knew he couldn't just take it away from them so instead he came up with this really good idea of getting many of them sacked. This happened, and next thing, the poor people who were working got less money. Magic! thought little George.

Another plan he had with his friends was to get poor people arguing with each other over who was a nice poor person and who was a shitty poor person. Then, all the poor people could get angry with the ones George had called shitty instead of getting angry with him. That happened. It worked. Magic! thought little George.

Then George had several ideas about what to do with the monies that poor people give to rich people - like the nice relief rich people get when they put money away for when they're old. I know, thought little George, we'll go on giving them that relief, that way rich people can get richer because poor people give them some money to be comfortable for when they're old. They deserve it, thought little George.

Then finally, little George had this great idea: rich people pay 50p in the pound in tax. Poor old rich people, thought George. I can make sure they pay less, so that rich people can be richer at the end of the year. But where will the money come from, wondered George's servant Bill. Don't worry about that, said George, it'll come from poor people. Magic! thought George.