I've called this meeting this morning because of the extremely unfortunate matter of the leaked Key Stage 1 Spelling paper. I'm taking the chair because Nicky is practising how to spell 'sincerely'. Perhaps, Nicky you could do some work on your handwriting too. Thank you.
Thanks, John, bringing a leek to the meeting is fine as a satirical point but this is serious. Deadly serious.
Thousands of parents, teachers and children are going to school today laughing at us. I've had to come away from some really important work on exclamation marks and now this!
First: do we know who was responsible for the leak? No, John, not the leek. No need to wave it every time I say 'leak'.
We don't.
Second: do we know how to find out who was responsible for the leak? John I warned you. No one's laughing.
We don't.
Third: do we know what to do next?
We don't.
No, John, I don't like leek soup.
Meeting over.
Nicky, the down strokes should be parallel. Parallel. It means lined up in the same...er...line.
